I’ve just realized the Powerball drawing is my only Appointment Television. Scripted shows are so dull (or hard to find) I’ve given up on anything that has a continuing storyline. Reality shows have a bit more pull but, really, should I care if a second-rate actress beats a retired athlete or an old Boy bander in a dance contest?
Sunday, they crowned the winners of “Grease — You’re the One that I Want” and I realized I have absolutely no desire to see the show that’s viewed as the “prize.” The contestants sang those songs so much you kinda got sick of them by week whatever. Then, too, why didn’t they have Broadway veterans in the mix? And what about the “rest of the cast”? Instead of rehashing everything, why didn’t they show how they got their jobs?
When Max and Laura finally got to remove the question marks on their chests, I had put a period at the end of the series.
On “American Idol” we’re finally seeing what pranksters can do. Simon said it best: “You’re in your own world” when Sanjaya turned up with a faux-hawk made of ponytails and rubberbands. I realize now who’s voting for him — kids who got beat up in high school.
With Rob and Amber out of “Amazing Race” there’s no one to hate. “Survivor” has another season going, but what island are they on?
And “Dancing with the Stars”? Why not bring out the big guns — let J. Lo, Madonna, Prince, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce duke it out. Now THAT would be a “star” pack. This is like a bunch of falling stars making asteroids of themselves.
“The Bachelor” has cranked up again — with “an officer and a gentleman” who’s also a doctor. Oh, boy.
Trista should figure into one of these shows, somewhere. Only she’s pregnant and won’t be available until the next “cycle.”
Imagine the “ultimate” reality show — one in which the regulars (folks like Rob and Amber, Trishelle, Mike the Miz, Trista and Ryan) battle to the death. It’d get great ratings and it might stop those 15-minutes of fame pipe dreams. I’d go on, but I think Ryan Seacrest is about to announce who’s being dumped from “Idol.”
SSSSShhhhhh…

If you happened by the Taylor Hicks merchandise booth Saturday night at the Orpheum Theatre, you probably saw a sign that said Taylor’s harmonica was for sale.
Curious, I asked how much it cost. “Three hundred,” the clerk told me. “But he played on stage…and it’s autographed.”
Convinced I couldn’t afford the instrument, I happened to mention the “sale” to a few people around me. They didn’t think the price was too steep and actually considered buying it.
But, I wondered, how “used” was the harmonica? Well, if the Sioux City stop was any indication, it was good for one song. Hicks used a similar one on his encore. One song. One time. Three hundred dollars.
His tambourine? That got a workout. It banged against his chest so much I’m sure it left marks. That alone should fetch $500 — with or without the autograph.
For those with less to spend, Hicks had plenty of CDs and T-shirts.
Many of the fans, however, came in their own “Soul Patrol” outfits. One group arrived in a limo; another toted signs.
Like an “American Idol” taping, the concert had plenty of energy.
But $300 for a harmonica?
I bet you could get a Sanjaya headband for a lot less.

I’m still devoted to the gaggle of reality shows that glut prime time television. But I’ve got a new guilty pleasure — “The Agency,” a catty, eye-opening look at the modeling business.
Set at the Wilhelmina agency — a high-end New York modeling firm — it shows just how vicious the world of good looks can be and how stupid some models really are.
A pitbull named Becky runs roughshod over the models, berating them for eating Skittles (or is it Skittle?), gaining weight or missing appointments.
Granted, it’s an easy life. But do you need some belligerent Brit yelling at you for even looking at food?
There’s a guy named Pink there, too, and a whole bunch of phone answerers who seem destined to keep their models on some kind of rehab program.
What I’ve learned so far:
– 34-inch hips are the max for women.
– Most men want that “Abercrombie” look.
– Other agencies don’t “take care” of you.
– The minute you walk out the door, someone is going to tear you to shreds.
– If a photographer asks you take off your clothes, he’s probably not legit.
– Polaroids are still being used.
– If three agents show up at your Alabama door, they probably think you have talent.
– If you get a black eye in a fight, you’re not going to work for a week.
– Some clients actually care if you have a personality.
– Nobody knows anything.

Basically, a model has a very short window of opportunity. If he or she decides to (gasp!) go to college rather than model, a lifetime of happiness is guaranteed to fly out the window.
Bullying is rampant, which almost makes you glad you’re not good-looking enough to make it in the business.
The show airs Wednesday on VH1. Watch it and you’ll definitely feel better about yourself.

Is there a conspiracy to keep Sanjaya in the hunt? Clearly, the kid’s got to go. But that hasn’t stopped “American Idol” voters. Before the women start getting picked off, expect his time to be up.
Meanwhile, I talked to Taylor Hicks (last year’s winner) and he said this is a crucial time for the contestants — this is their opportunity to stand out. Because he had experience in the business (and a marketing major in college) he knew how to make the most of his limited screen time. “You’re dealing with the cameras and it’s nerve-racking. I don’t think you ever get comfortable.”
Now, though, he’s having a great time on his first tour. He’ll bring that tour to Sioux City next week. And the Soul Patrol? It’s getting bigger every day, he says. “They’ve been very good to me.”
And they could be the reason he won.
Do you suppose there’s a Sanjaya Sector out there?

I got my sexy back Thursday night.
Actually, I watched hundreds of people trying to display their sexy at the Justin Timberlake concert in Omaha and, frankly, it wasn’t pretty.
Several groups of fans dressed up in homemade T-shirts declaring their love and/or availability and, naturally, J.T. wasn’t buying. They screamed a lot, too, and did whatever they could to enter his realm of futuresexy (or whatever it is he sings about).
In my section, a bunch of fortysomething moms tried to relive their pastsexy days by screaming louder than their daughters. During intermission, they asked each other what their first concerts were and made a couple trips to the, um, refreshment stand. I’m not sure who was the designated driver.
Still, they had reason to cheer.
Justin was great.
No. REALLY great. For a kid who started out on “The Mickey Mouse Club,” he sure has prospered. The reason? He’s an incredible dancer and a fairly good singer.
Surround both talents with some great musicians, some equally good dancers and some knockout special effects and the result is memorable. The two hour-plus concert at the Qwest Center featured all of the hits (hit?), a lot of cuts from his latest album and a routine to “Cry Me A River” that featured a Britney look-alike. Was it on purpose? And was his X-rated stuff on another song aimed at her, Cameron or someone else?
To get the party started, Pink came out and did a set that was part Joan Jett part Cirque du Soleil. She even hung from ribbons and did a “Let’s Get This Party Started” bit that could impress the Ringling Brothers.
J.T. brought along Timbaland who, frankly, gave folks time to go to the bathroom. By the time his set was done, J.T. had toweled off and was ready to dance again. Someone should give him a TV special that showcases his moves. In many respects, he’s better than Michael Jackson. As an encore he started to play the “—- in a Box” song he did on “Saturday Night Live,” then backed off. The kid ended well, though, and the moms were thrilled.
I liked the show, too. It’s great to see artists at the top of their game. Timberlake certainly was.

Dirty pictures? Cries of racism? Tears, tears and more tears? What is this? The Miss USA Pageant? Nope, just a lackluster “American Idol” year.
Perhaps realizing this is one of the worst crops of contestants EVER, folks have started to look for other reasons to tune in. Will Antonella break down and admit she was a girl gone wild? Will the “Idol” Dreamgirls scream their way out of the semifinals? Could Rosie O’Donnell show up in the audience?
It’s all too much to consider. What is clear is the level of talent. Most of the contestants wouldn’t even make it in a mediocre show choir.
The men, in particular, are weak.
This week Sanjaya got a makeover. The Milhouse eyebrows are toned down and the hair has a vague Gwyneth Paltrow look but he still can’t sing. Likewise, Sundance. Whose relative is he? It’s time boys. It’s time.
The women? Lakisha still reigns but Melinda has a shot and Gina could hang in there. It’s time for them to get makeovers, too. Melinda looks like she doesn’t have a neck. Another one (look how well her name stuck) has such retro hair I swear she was beamed in from a “Star Trek” episode. You know the one — the curly long mess. Oy.
It’s time, too, to get some of those big names in tow. If Paul McCartney is coming to help them out, get him on the horn stat.
Meanwhile, cut Simon a break. The guy is right. The contestants are bad. Beating him up doesn’t solve the problem. It just makes everyone else look petty.

When you’re stuck in the house because the weather’s so bad, a lot of thoughts run through your head. Among them:

1. Why are there reruns on television when there’s a blizzard? And why are the reruns always episodes you’ve seen?

2. Why don’t school people make the call before 8 a.m. so  you can sleep in? And why is it the school you’re looking to find is always listed when the television broadcast goes to commercial?

3. Why don’t you have great food in the house when you’ve got the time to cook it? I’m always reduced to Chicken Noodle Soup (which is past its expiration date), candy and macaroni.

4. Is Anna Nicole’s funeral really big news? Or is it just easy for reporters to cover?

5. Should you shovel several times throughout the day, just to keep up? Or should you just wait until it settles down and throw your back out?

6. Why do all those projects saved for a “rainy day” seem unimportant when it’s a snowy day?

7. Naps aren’t better during a blizzard.

8. Why do people with four-wheel drive vehicles feel they’ve got to speed when the weather’s bad?

9. If a City Councilman lived on my street, would it be cleared sooner?

10. Snow angels aren’t fun to make when the wind is whipping.

Stay warm.