I’ve been engrossed in a new book, “Microtrends.” In it, author Mark Penn (the guy who spotted the soccer mom phenomenon) talks about the next big trends.

Are you ready for:

Cougars — older women who date young men.

Splitters — folks who own more than one house and “split” their time between them.

The Uptown Tattooed — Hip urbanites who believe tats are tres chic.

30 Winkers (this is me) — people who exist on little sleep.

Snowed-under Slobs — workers who have a lot of stuff on their desks — a sign that they’ve got a lot to do.

Do It Yourself Doctors — patients who go to their physicians’ offices armed with information they’ve learned on the Internet. Often, they’ll “self-diagnose” and hope the doctor just rubberstamps what they say.

Also big — men who take care of their ailing parents, folks who treat pets like children, twentysomethings who knit and surgery junkies.

The book is a quick read that could give you a clue where to invest your money.

My bet: anything to do with senior citizens. The Baby Boom generation is getting older (and more demanding). Provide services for them and you’ll make a mint. How ’bout sweaters for those pampered pets and day spas for seniors?

Definition of classy: ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos donated part of his speaking fee — $15,000 — to Girls Inc. at the Siouxland Chamber of Commerce Dinner Tuesday night.

Even better? BPI’s Eldon and Regina Roth made it possible for Stephanopoulos to cover breaking news earlier in the day and make it to the dinner at night.

One good turn does deserve another.

“My kid went to Bonanza City and all he got was this lousy T-shirt.”

Can you hear the grousing now? After “Kid Nation,” the controversial reality show which premiered Wednesday, it was pretty clear there are parents out there encouraging their children to be The Next Big Reality Star. So many of the participants seemed coached it was hard to buy into the experiment.

In a nutshell? Forty kids inhabit a ghost town and try to start a new “nation.” In truth? It’s a place for unemployed kid actors to ham it up.

At the end of the first episode, a 14-year-old was given a gold star “worth its weight in gold” or $20,000 (if that’s what the paperweight-like prize goes for these days). She called her mom and mom was so excited you’d have thought she was cast in a revival of “Full House.”

The winner, Sophie, was cited for cooking ability. But what stood out was her pseudo strip tease designed to get money to buy a bike at the General Store. She Britneyed it up pretty good and got the dough for a bike that she probably wouldn’t even acknowledge back home.

In July at the Television Critics Press Tour, producers were quizzed about the possibility of kids, unsupervised, having sex. After seeing Sophie’s performance, I think the concern was justified.

The show isn’t some evil “Lord of the Flies” experiment, it’s just a chance to show adults how stupid they are.

In other words, it should be a hit. Give ‘em a gold star.

It looked like a scene from “Gladiator”: Actors sitting around a stage, hoping someone would be thrown to the lions. No one was, but Sunday’s Emmy ceremony did have its share of surprises. Among them:
1. Ricky Gervais winning Best Actor for “Extras.” While the Academy owes him plenty for coming up with the idea behind “The Office,” six episodes of an HBO series does not a Best Actor make. Alec Baldwin and Steve Carell were robbed.
2. “30 Rock” as Best Comedy? Someday, maybe. But not now. It had a rocky first season and needed a little more curing before it belongs on top.
3. James Spader beating Hugh Laurie and James Gandolfini for Best Actor/Drama. Even he was shocked. Because he’s largely delivering a comedy performance, Spader was in the wrong category…and he already has a couple of Emmys. Laurie needed this win and deserved it.
4. Sally Field’s speech. When she couldn’t remember all of it, we got nervous. When she started swearing and they bleeped her, we wondered why Edie Falco didn’t win.
5. Katherine Heigl’s triumph. Was she really stronger than her “Grey’s Anatomy” co-stars?
6. Two old guys — Tony Bennett and Robert Duvall — taking home a lot of hardware. When Bennett plugged Target, we knew this wasn’t Emmys we remember.
7. Rainn Wilson and Kanye West doing a bit that might have been good if it hadn’t been botched.
8. All those obscure Fox people serving as presenters.
9. Ryan Seacrest wearing a costume from “The Tudors.”
10. No real trends among the winning shows. Was Tony Bennett the big winner? Or Elaine Stritch?

Sunday, Ryan Seacrest will preside over the annual Emmy Awards — a contest that’s hardly predictable because you don’t know who’s voting. A friend who served on an Emmy panel earlier this year said the balloting was skewed toward “familiar” names. Newcomers didn’t stand a chance next to folks who had been around for years. Which means? Look for “The Sopranos” to go out with a bang (unlike the show). It should win Best Drama and Best Actor for James Gandolfini. It could win some supporting prizes, too, but I’m betting Sally Field from “Brothers and Sisters” will take Best Actress.

In the comedy categories, look for “Ugly Betty” (and America Ferrera, its star) to do well. But don’t discount “30 Rock’s” Alec Baldwin and “The Office’s” Steve Carell. They’re spoilers. “My Name is Earl’s” Jaime Pressly deserves the statuette for Best Supporting Actress and “The Office’s” “Rainn Wilson should get Best Supporting Actor. The spoilers? Vanessa Williams and Jeremy Piven (who won last year).

“Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee” could win a bunch; Robert Duvall seems due and Helen Mirren could make it the Triple Crown if she wins for her last “Prime Suspect” outing.

Already, Kathy Griffin (”My Life on the D List”) has won for Reality Show (”The Amazing Race” will probably repeat for Reality Competition Show — despite a strong showing from “American Idol”) and “South Park” got Best Animated Series. Most surprising of all? Justin Timberlake won for that song he wrote (you know –  “(Blank) in a Box”) from “Saturday Night Live.”

Emmys are built to withstand surprises. Sunday, we should see plenty of them. Britney Spears, perhaps?

Britney Spears kicked off the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night and, maybe, she should have waited to stage her comeback.

Pudgy, out of shape and hardly willing to sing along with the recorded music, she looked like someone who would have gotten the boot on “America’s Got Talent.”

Ex-beau Justin Timberlake won a couple of awards (and stayed clear); ex-hubby Kevin Federline was nowhere to be found. Since the show was staged in Vegas her first husband (remember that debacle?) may have been lurking.

Oops she did it again? Maybe it’s time she stayed home with the kids.

The six bravest men in Siouxland are on stage at the Sioux City Community Theatre. Starring in “The Full Monty,” the musical version of the hit film, they willingly strip in front of the audience and get the necessary laughs and applause. While blinding lights are supposed to protect the guys, there’s still an awfully big risk at hand — and for that I applaud them. I saw the show Thursday night, had a lot of good laughs and realized I would never EVER do something like that. (I find it hard enough to look in the mirror when I’m not wearing a shirt.)

If you go, be sure to hoot and holler during the big scene. It’s gotta make The Brave Six feel oh-so-much better.

Congrats guys. We haven’t seen this much nudity on stage since “Hair” played the auditorium.

Whoopi Goldberg joined “The View” this week and I think she’s just as perplexed as the rest of us. Watching in amazement as her co-hosts talk over each other (and strain for screen time) she has wisely decided to stay out of the line of fire. In some segments she doesn’t even talk…and yet, she’s not a bad addition. Producer Barbara Walters says another new cast member will be added next week. I’m hoping Sherri Shepard gets the job — she has Star Jones’ sassiness without the attitude.

Still, work has to be done on the veterans. Joy Behar needs to be given more time and Elizabeth Hasselbeck needs to be told she doesn’t have to defend every interest group she  represents. It’s one thing to be the token Republican. It’s quite another to feel you have to defend all those goofy reality show nuts. My advice? Don’t let everyone participate in some of the interviews and make the women take turns during Hot Topics. They also shouldn’t feel compelled to defer to Barbara on everything. She may be a legend but that doesn’t mean she’s always right.

Have you been yet? Huh? Have you?

Actually, I’ve been there twice and continue to see more things I (want) need.

Among the most surprising (and welcome) booths: Northwest Airlines. It has  a bunch of giveaways and a crowd of friendly people. This bodes well for the call center’s arrival in downtown.

Also worth noting: The sand-sculpting competition. While the professionals were always fun to watch, it’s pretty cool to see what students can come up with. I loved SpongeBob.

My favorite hot dogs were back, too, (Hot Diggety!) and they tasted just as good as I remembered. I also wanted to get those ribbon chips but the line was too long.

The art ran the gamut (check out the cool bowls with sayings…they’re on the backside of the Dance Pavilion) and, after three rounds, I still couldn’t find the “naughty” art that somebody told me was there.

Hmmm. Maybe I need another visit.