In the last month we’ve had so many concerts, programs and plays, you may not have been able to catch everything. So…here’s what you may have missed:
“The Nutcracker” — A really sexy dance by one of the Moscow Ballet performers. It was so hot it should have been in the Sammy Hagar concert.
And, speaking of Sammy — A “fan zone” was created at the back of the stage. Revelers got drinks in cool glasses and seemed to know the songs as well as the musicians. The interesting twist: Hagar had the names of his albums and their key songs pasted on the front of the drum stand. Perhaps he needed a little prompting.
John Mellencamp — The “Small Town” video of Sioux City was pretty cool. But it was even more fun watching him chug some kind of medicine between songs. An assistant greeted him at the back of the stage and brought a bottle of water to help wash it all down.
Brule — Great dancing by the Many Moccasins folks. But the Christmas trees that seemed to blink on and off with the music looked like those ones Wal-Mart used to sell.
“Rent” — The actress mooning the audience during her big “Over the Moon” number. The moon, by the way, was full.

Monday night, the three finalists dance for that mirrored-ball trophy on “Dancing with the Stars.”
I’m hoping Mel B will win but you can’t ignore the Marie Factor.
Even though she’s one of the worst dancers of the bunch, Marie Osmond manages to stay afloat. Considering the number of Osmonds and QVC doll shoppers out there, she could be winning on good will alone. (What else can she do to win sympathy?)
Helio Castroneves, the racecar driver, would seem like a good split vote but too many men have won in the past, so this year a female is due. (Besides, doesn’t he look like Roberto Benigni? After that guy’s Oscar win, nothing.)
Mel B, though, is the best of the bunch and deserves to win. She put up with Eddie Murphy for years. She deserves the trophy for survival.
Let the dancing begin.

Before you indulge in Thursday’s feast, Uncle Bruce has a few helpful reminders:
1. Gravy has no calories one day a year. Indulge.
2. Dishes magically clean themselves. Let ‘em sit, let ‘em sit, let ‘em sit.
3. If you put too much salt on your turkey, even it out with more food. You won’t notice the salt.
4. If your pants size doesn’t have at least one “X” in it, you’re wearing the wrong clothes.
5. Pie doesn’t have to be eaten immediately following the meal. But if you have a piece of pumpkin right after the turkey, then you don’t have to make the Sophie’s Choice. You can have the pecan in the afternoon.
6. Hydrate frequently. Preferably with liquids that are also made from plants — hops, for example, or grapes.
7. Ignore the vegetables. In my book, they’re wasted calories.
8. A Thanksgiving Day prayer is appropriate. Just make sure you don’t ask the long-winded one to deliver it.
9. Napping is encouraged. It burns calories and gets you ready for the second round.
10. Although you normally eat in the recliner, let it rest on Thursday. Sit at the table. You can always get back to the chair on Friday.

Happy turkey day!

The Red Cross Tour of Homes is in full swing and you know what that means — I want an invitation to someone else’s house for the holidays.

In home after home, I could picture myself sitting in the living room, enjoying the tree (one even rotated!) and sipping a great cup of cider.

Instead, I’m in a house with zero Christmas decorations, wondering why I don’t have anything good in my refrigerator.

The annual tour of homes provides a good glimpse at the latest in holiday trends. Among the must-haves:

Jingle bells. They’re used to decorate just about everywhere.

Christmas ornaments in big glass dishes (this looks easy enough but if I did it, it’d look like Christmas ornaments in a bowl).

Christmas stockings lying on a bed (not hung from a fireplace).

Popcorn machines.

Red and gold.

The homes were great — one had my dream shower (like a huge rainfall) — and they were so clean I swear kids don’t live in them. Get on the bus and see if you don’t agree. Then tell the homeowners they should invite me for the holidays.

I think I’d make a great Christmas decoration.

At The Journal’s bridal fair Sunday I learned plenty of wedding trends.
For example:
1. Trains are so big you might start thinking about getting a friend to tote it around for you. They’re HUGE!
2. Tiaras have replaced veils. Apparently, “Beauty and the Beast,” “The Little Mermaid” and “Cinderella” have had an effect.
3. Color isn’t verboten on a wedding gown. Really. Color. Who knew? I remember when you gasped over “off-white.”
4. Low-cut and backless. Even mom’s dress is daring.
5. Flower girls are likely to steal the attention from the brides. They’re getting great dresses (and purses, too).
6. Guys aren’t settling for black. We saw brown tuxes, WHITE ones (what is this, a wedding cake?) and lots of colored vests and ties. Think: Caribbean. (Is that another “Little Mermaid” thing?)
7. Lucite shoes. Honest.
8. Sebastian the crab singing “Under the Sea.” (I just threw that in.)
9. Bridesmaid dresses actually have the ability to be worn more than once. (They’re not the poofy sleeves thing anymore.)
10. Sparkles — crystals, rhinestones, beads — are everywhere.
Disney, obviously, has had an impact. (If next year’s grooms are really hairy and beastly, we’ll know for sure. Wait for the “Ratatouille” generation.)

If you like “Dancing with the Stars,” you might be in luck. If the Writers Guild strike drags on, you’ll see a lot of reality and game shows.
But, where will all those third-rate celebrities come from? Will Screech and H.R. Pufnstuf get slots? Will we be forced to live through Danny Bonaduce and Maureen McCormick? Please tell us Mario Lopez won’t host “Win, Lose or Draw.”

Still, Marie Osmond and Jane Seymour have set the bar pretty high.
During this season alone, they’ve both experienced a death in the family, illness, a fainting problem (Marie), food poisoning (Jane) and a fused spine (Jane, again). Sara Evans managed to work in a cheating husband last year. And Heather Mills continues to do battle with Paul McCartney.

By those standards, we can almost bet one of those Anna Nicole lovers is a shoo-in. Just think: Larry Birkhead, Kato Kaelin, Larry Fortensky, Kevin Federline in the mix. The dance line continues!

I was lucky enough to see a sneak preview of “Black and White Broadway,” a revue the Shot in the Dark folks will be staging this month.

The all-female cast did a nice job with a host of Broadway show tunes (including one from the oh-so-new “Little Mermaid”) but it took Siouxland favorite Kemi Jones to bring down the house with “And I Am Telling You” from “Dreamgirls.” Always solid, she found the emotion in every word and wasn’t afraid to sell it. She did well on some group numbers, too. But that Effie song could be her calling card.

If you go, look for a fine rendition of the all-female number from “Spring Awakening” and a cute ditty from “Wicked.” It’s not a fully staged show, just a fun night with Broadway hits. See if you can avoid singing along. I couldn’t.

If those late-night talk shows look suspiciously old this week it’s because the Writers Guild is on strike. Seeking a bigger piece of the DVD/Internet pie, members vowed to picket studios this week. Because the late-night shows (Leno, Letterman, Kimmel, O’Brien, Stewart and Colbert) use writers, they’d be the first to feel the pinch. Then, daytime talk shows and soaps would be next. If the strike prolongs, look for nighttime shows to be gone for an extended period of time. Replacement programming? Try game shows and reality competitions. Considering we’ve got too many reality shows on the air as it is, I’m hoping for a quick settlement. “Deal or No Deal”? That’s the question.