Ever since Whitney Houston put her twist on Dolly Parton’s “And I Will Always Love You,” artists have felt the need to mess around with the music. That was the case with the “Idol” women Wednesday night. Screwing around with a bunch of ‘70 songs did nothing for any of them. Kady Malloy was awful (and should have stuck to Britney Spears impressions), Amanda Overmyer looked like Cruella deVil and, sorry, but Asia’h Epperson did not nail “All By Myself.” I still have hope for Syesha and Ramiele but the rest (Carly included) can start packing their bags. It’s the 17-year-old boy’s competition to lose.

Paula was obsessed with “powering” songs and Randy sounded like the voice of reason. Simon just said stuff to get a rise out of the crowd. “You’re So Vain” was sung for him? Yeah, right.

Just end it now. We don’t need to see anymore attitude or hear the mea culpas. David Archuleta is the winner, hands down. Tuesday night he performed a stirring version of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” It had the “newness” the judges talk about and a sense of maturity that’s rare in most singers. At 17, he could be the Next Big Thing. I say, cut the competition, give him the recording contract and let’s see what happens.

To save him from the plight of bad songs (a problem other winners have wrestled with), he should release an album of covers with one or two new songs thrown in. “Imagine” could be the first release.

The other finalists? They looked petty in comparison. The dad with the blond streak and the kid with the dreadlocks appear destined to leave.

BTW: Simon’s right. Listen to him.

I was saddened today to hear that KCAU weatherman Gary Shore had died.

Gary always viewed his job as a mission — to keep Siouxlanders informed about the weather that was upon them. I was at the station many times when he’d plead with producers for “three minutes more….I’ve just gotta have three minutes more.”

He was so passionate about the weather he didn’t want anyone to brave it without knowing the details.

To die on the day of a storm? I don’t know if it’s ironic or entirely fitting.

Gary was a fine man who always had our best interests at heart.

Our prayers are with his family.  He will be missed.

The end of the Academy Awards was just like the end of “No Country for Old Men” — unsatisfying. Sure, we knew the Coen brothers were going to win, but couldn’t they have had a little James Cameron life? For good measure the Academy should have brought out an old star like Doris Day to present the award. Denzel wasn’t enough.
Daniel Day-Lewis gave a nice speech; the Coens at least referenced their life in Minnesota.

Still, the night’s best performance came from the escort wearing the gold dress. She was classy, gorgeous and most Oscar-like.

Next year? Bring back the stuff you say you want to stay away from…and pack the place with stars. Brad and Angelina? You were missed.

The gal in the gold dress? Your ticket is waiting.

Best dressed: Hilary Swank.

Best speech: the pair from “Once”

Most unidentified shots from the audience:  Cormac McCarthy, author of “No Country”

Best attempt to look happy: Julie Christie, who obviously thought she was going to win.

Are Americans boycotting the Oscars? I’ve counted, what, two American winners?

Still, I’m glad the kids from “Once” won Best Song (now, buy the guy a new guitar) and it’s good Jon Stewart let the gal come out and give her speech. (The guy from the third “Enchanted” song wouldn’t have lasted a week on “Idol.”)
“No Country” isn’t killin’ ‘em, which could mean there’s an upset for Best Picture.

The guy who won an honorary award should have gotten it years ago. Sadly, he’s walking like me (and I had my appendix and gallbladder removed and a hernia repaired — all last week).

For accounting purposes — each of the Best Picture nominees has won at least one Oscar.

Diablo Cody started tugging at her dress when she walked up to get the Best Screenplay award. Excuse me, but wasn’t she a stripper at one time?

It’s really international night. Quick: Name one American winner.

Still, Javier Bardem is a good Best Supporting Actor choice — and he brought mama! Mama also wore every ring she owns. Hmmm. I bet they spent a lot of time at the metal detector.

Tilda Swinton provided the first sorta upset. Even though Cate Blanchett was touted months ago, she didn’t have the heft to hold on. Swinton gives “Michael Clayton” its spot on the list and Swinton finally gets to prove she’s more than Glenn Close to Blanchett’s Meryl Streep.

The song nominees are still punk (even with Kristin Chenoweth singing).

The Coen Brothers got their first (of four possible Oscars) for writing. Too bad they didn’t put some time in writing a speech.

BTW: Where are the old stars?  In the old days, you’d always get someone who hadn’t been around in years. Now, you’d be grateful to see Julia Roberts show up.

Could this show be duller? Jon Stewart obviously didn’t get any of those unemployed writers to punch up his monologue and no one even thought of doing an opening number. Clearly, the 80th show deserves a bad production number.

So-so opening winners doesn’t help, either. Amy Adams tried (note: TRIED) to sing “Happy Working Song” but she got, um, a little pitchy and almost lost it. They shoulda put a couple dancers around her just to add some diversion.

Worst dress so far: Mrs. Daniel Day-Lewis. Clearly, Bjork’s designer has gotten work.

Color of the night: Red.  Hairstyle: Ponytail.

It’s so good to know that those coveted Oscars for makeup, costumes and visual effects are given out right away. The tension would just kill us if we had to wait any longer.

BTW: Does Jack Nicholson have season tickets? He always seems to sit in the same seat.

Poor Regis Philbin. He’s forced to figure out who some of the people are. Joan Rivers never bothered. She’d ask the biggest stars who they were. Reeg’s sidekicks just wing it. So far, the dresses aren’t that bad, although Marion Cotillard’s Gautier creation looks like it should have been a costume for “The Little Mermaid.” John Travolta has Ken doll hair (if you rub it does it come off?) and his wife could have used a shot of the ‘Tox.

Since it’s raining in Hollywood, the Red Carpet doesn’t have the electricity it needs. Still, would you sit in the stands for two days just to glimpse Philip Seymour Hoffman?

The “Juno” folks are everywhere, which could bode well for the picture.

How much cross promotion does Disney/ABC need to do? They managed to get Miley Cyrus a presenting gig and they have more “Grey’s Anatomy” folks on hand than the Emmys. The “Dancing with the Stars” contestants are floating in the background, too. What next? Supernanny?

Before the Red Carpet was The Red Carpet, they used to let anyone walk it. XXX actress Edy Williams was always there wearing next to nothing and Sally Kirkland (who actually was nominated at one time) would show up and greet people who probably didn’t know who she was. The event was more of a circus. Now, you just wonder if Joan Rivers is going to show. Since she got dumped by the TV Guide Channel, is there anywhere else for her to work? Does QVC cover this stuff?

We’ll be blogging Sunday night. be sure to check back.

Dumping the kid with the bad mustache, the boy who wouldn’t cut it in show choir, the plus sized model and the girl who ruined “Where the Boys Are” was the right thing to do. A few others hovered near the bottom but this was a good quartet to ditch. Paula’s video had a few too many edits, too. Randy couldn’t tell if she was pitchy because she all electronics, no voice.

The “American” bandwagon has just begun. Look for the “Moon River” dad, the Carrie clones and ‘Eze to get dumped next.

BTW: Those hairdos. Seriously. They’re really bad. Sanjaya come back. All is forgiven.