The March of Dimes held its sixth annual Signature Chefs Auction Thursday night and the food was incredible. Eight restaurants/catering firms offered a range of selections. My plate was heaping so I latched on to the perfect buffet line technique — eat while visiting the stations.
My favorite entree? An au gratin potato dish that included sweet potatoes, cheese, regular potatoes, more cheese and some crumbly mixture (note my culinary description) that told you immediately they were packed with calories. They were created by Distinctive Gourmet and, if Chef Al Clark will share the recipe, I’ll pass it along. Trust me, they were to die for.
Gourmet A Go-Go impressed with baby back ribs, Minerva’s wowed with tiramisu, Briar Cliff University offered up stuffed dates (no, really, they were amazing), Raspberry’s had to-die-for desserts, Bev’s served up a smokin’ Cajun Bar B Que and Luciano’s stood out with Penne Russo, a signature dish.
Those, mind you, were just MY faves. Throw in dozens of other main dishes, appetizers and desserts and you’ll understand why I (and several others) waddled out of the Convention Center.
The People’s Choice Award? That went to Distinctive Gourmet, which also had a pretty nifty stage setting.
More important? The event benefited the March of Dimes.
Great food. An even better cause.
You shoulda been there.

Weigh-in: One more pound lost.
Workout: One more friend gained.
Fitting old pants: Priceless.

We’re heading toward the end of the “Desperate Measures” program and I’m starting to see results. I know this because a woman stopped me at Hy Vee and said she could see my cheekbones. I didn’t have the heart to ask her which cheeks. I also felt guilty enough to avoid the candy aisle and head over to, gulp, bananaland.
I know the next weeks are going to be difficult. My kitchen remodeling project is almost done and I’m going to start filling my refrigerator with food. Interestingly, food that’s good for you needs refrigeration. Food I love can sit out in bags for months. So, I’m going to try and find food that needs refrigeration. I have an M&M drawer in the new kitchen (no kidding — it was the first thing I wanted) and now I’ve got to think of alternatives for a drawer with a glass front that was designed to hold candy. Don’t even suggest a vegetable drawer.
My fellow “DMers” are making great strides. They look thinner, they complete the exercises and they actually appear to be having fun. Interestingly, I’m still the big whiner. I didn’t lose that. But I did realize if you ask a trainer to “show” you how to do an exercise, you eat up time that could have been spent doing the exercise yourself.
I also learned:
1. I still can’t do situps with my arms crossed.
2. I could have the beginnings of buns of steel. I’m feeling plenty of pain in my “glutes” and I actually think my big butt is smaller than it once was. (I once told that to my sister and she said, “Look behind you. It’s still there.”)
3. There are machines that I swear no one but Desperate Measures people use. There’s one that makes you move like a horse and two that flex muscles I don’t think should be flexed. There’s also one that’s ideal for football players but I never see football players on it.
4. Do people who exercise hurt all the time? If that’s the case, I am now a person who exercises.
5. I don’t think I could have been loyal to the program without the bonding that comes from being with other people in the same situation.

During our last group outing, a Y official (and I’m not naming names, Abigayle) shot footage of us working out. If this turns up somewhere and it’s not favorable to me, just know I was unable to hear the trainers’ commands. If I do look like I know what I’m doing, consider it good editing. I wanted final cut (like Tom Cruise gets) but no one was buying.

Next week: The final weigh-in. OMG.

Bruce Miller reviews this week’s new films.

I defy you to sit still during the Michael Jackson documentary “This is It.” The music is so infectious, so stirring you’ll want to dance along with the King of Pop.
While it isn’t a polished example of what that last concert might have been, it is pretty good — particularly since Kenny Ortega, the show’s director, pulled out so many visual gems you’ll wonder if any artist could top it.
In addition to 3-D movie segments, the concert was going to feature so many of MJ’s hits it would have had to last a good two or three hours. The show required plenty of dancing and lots of singing. And that’s where the questions begin.
Had he lived, would Jackson have been up to that kind of grueling pace? In the film he looks incredibly skinny. At one point (in a goofy jacket with big shoulder pads), he resembles Jack Skellington. He doesn’t seem fragile. He just looks it.
He’s kind of a diva, too, demanding musicians and lighting artists to come in exactly when he wants them.
Because “This is It” is such a crazy quilt of rehearsals, it’s valid to wonder if he ever got through an entire run of the show without stopping.
The man’s abilities, though, are clearly on display. Deny him any props and you’re negating pop history. He had the goods — the voice, the songwriting ability, the dancing — to earn any artist’s respect.
Healthy? He appeared to be from these scenes. Had the concerts in London gone on, he would have been back at the top of his game and people would be awaiting a different documentary — one chronicling his triumph.
This brings tears — and joy. The joy? That someone managed to capture what might have been.
It’s a wonderful film — one that easily could win the year’s Best Documentary prize.

Melissa Joan Hart and Louie Vito are goners. They should have taken Michael Irvin, too.
Attempting to inject a little drama in the loser rehash show, producers had a dance-off AND a lot of drastic introductions. But really, bad is bad. Melissa stumbled. Louie frequently stopped and Michael — who will live to dance another day — ain’t no Emmitt Smith.
Taylor Swift sang, too, but this wasn’t much different than the appearance she (and others) make on the Friday edition of the “Today” show.
Take away the drama — the fake drama — and this is just a rerun.
My advice: Tune in the last five minutes of the “results” show and you’ll be just fine.
Louie should have been doing those backflips weeks ago.

A dance marathon? It’s a good thing — and the folks at “Dancing with the Stars” should think about doing more of them, particularly since they show just how bad folks like Michael Irvin really are.
Since this is a double-elimination week, it’s almost certain he’ll go home. Who else? Well, Louie Vito is vulnerable, but Melissa Joan Hart is my guess. She’s clunky.
Other observations:
1. What’s La Toya Jackson doing in the audience? Michael’s big week was LAST week. Is she angling to get on the next edition of “Stars”?
2. Aaron Carter is a little, um, full of himself. He’s pulling tricks we haven’t seen since Susan Lucci. A leopard doesn’t change its spots. He’s still a jerk.
3. Donny Osmond has to tone it down. He has been around Marie too long and now he thinks he has to do drama. Worse yet? He tries to act like he and Kym are Bobby and Cissy. Not.
4. Mya is coasting.
5. Kelly Osbourne acts like “Stars” is the only thing keeping her from rehab. She shouldn’t be so fragile. And that bit on the trapeze? Stupid.
6. Derek Hough needs to be the center of attention at all times. Even the flu couldn’t tone him down.
7. How many ads for “V” can they put on?
8. Mambo? You bet. The final dance was superb.
9. Best line: “The last refuge of the untalented are gimmicks and props.” Thanks Len Goodman, we couldn’t have said it better.
10. As bad as he is, Louie can do a mean backflip.

If you’ve been looking for a horror film that doesn’t involve dismemberment, baby sitters, burn victims or killers in hockey masks then “Paranormal Activity” may be the one for you.
Made for less than most new cars, it was intended as a student project. Then Steven Spielberg got a look at it and wanted to do his version with a big-name cast. Aaah, but the “Blair Witch”-like quality to the original was too good to ignore. So, he released it as is.
And the result? It’s pretty darn scary, particularly since it looks like the $11,000 wasn’t spent on animated effects. The two actors (Katie Featherston and MIcah Sloat) are good. You’ll get at least two good jolts and you’ll probably never play with a Ouija board again.
Its message? All houses could be haunted. It just depends who’s in them. Whoooooo.
See it soon. Audiences are flocking in droves. Deservedly.

I was convinced this was going to be a big weight-loss week for me. As Gomer Pyle would say, “Surprise, surprise.” I didn’t gain. Or lose.
So what does that mean? Could I have done just as well with a few more hamburgers, Cokes and fries in my stomach? Or am I just in a holding pattern waiting to take off?
I’m leaning toward the latter, but wave a red meat burger in front of my face and I’ll make like El Toro and charge.
Saturday, I stood for 12 hours during the Lamb Baaa-nefit which, I think, should count as some kind of exercise.
Since I didn’t get to work out that day, I decided to make up for it Sunday. Stupid. I took a biking class, did machine work AND played tennis. Can you say, “My knees have given out?” They hurt so bad I was looking online for artificial limb manufacturers (I could cut off a leg, lose weight and still be able to make it to tap dance class on Monday!).
So far, though, I have noticed a loosening of the belt, so to speak. And that’s great. I don’t need no stinkin’ scales to judge me. I have pants!
I also have people who are willing to help me stay on the right path. A woman at McDonald’s asked me if I should be ordering a salad instead of a sandwich. A clerk at Hy Vee told me I should ignore the deli section and buy fruit.
So, there’s that support system. My partner in crime, Amy Hynds, was a big loser this week (yay for her!) but she has two sons to lift…so there’s that.
I’m hoping everything will come together at once — my kitchen remodel will be done, the weight will disappear and I’ll be ready for Halloween.
Candy.

Natalie Coughlin got axed, which says plenty about the voting process on “Dancing with the Stars.” Hardly the worst, she shouldn’t have been in the bottom four, much less ousted. Still, there must be fan support for Louie Vito and Michael Irvin, the two worst dancers left in the competition.
They weren’t even in “jeopardy” (as Tom Bergeron likes to say).
The dancing twins — Mark Ballas and Derek Hough — were there with their partners as was Aaron Carter. Carter has a bit of attitude, which might explain his inclusion. But, really, Natalie?
With the bad, however, came some VERY VERY GOOD. That was a tribute to Michael Jackson that, I’m predicting now, will be a front runner next year for choreography in the Emmy competition. It was electric — something “Stars” sometimes isn’t. Sadly, La Toya did the introduction and now you know why the family didn’t include her in most of their performance ventures. I guess if you can’t get Janet, you have to settle for La Toya.
Still, she couldn’t smudge a perfect dance.
Top that “So You Think You Can Dance.”

You know it’s a lame year when the contestants aren’t even getting good illnesses.
Usually, there’s a broken shoulder or a dead relative to pin some bad dancing on. But this year? It’s the flu.
Derek Hough and Mark Ballas were among the sufferers. Ballas carried on; Derek stayed home. That meant Maks had to slip in and dance with Joanna Krupa and, darn, if they didn’t stumble.
Still, they’re not going home. It’s probably going to be Michael Irvin or Louie Vito.
Interestingly, the show couldn’t even attract a good Jackson for its Michael Jackson tribute. La Toya is showing up tomorrow night…LA TOYA! What? Tito was busy?
Donny Osmond, the last star with something of a past, did well… which means he’ll probably be squaring off with Mya for the disco-ball trophy.
Now, could we please hurry along with that final?
Watching them all do the hustle (in a group number) was painful.
Like the flu.