With Labor Day behind us, the public pools are starting to be drained and the leaves are beginning to fall. Summer is unofficially over. So, there’s no better time to recap the season then right now. Here’s my list of “Stories of the Summer”. Did I miss any? What did you feel was the most important news? Drop me a line sometime.

-Jake (Aaron Rochester’s dog) escapes
-Jaxson Stark tragedy
-North High wins state baseball title
-Michael Jackson death and surrounding drama
-City Council vs. porch furniture
-Three year old Evelyn murdered in SSC
-Female ex-jailers sue Dakota County
-Longtime businessman Dwight Hauff dies
-Another successful Saturday in the Park
-Musketeers name new head coach
-Jon and Kate breakup (…just kidding)

Say…doesn’t this look like a great topic for a daily SCJ front page poll or Speak Out? Alert the nearest editor.

-DeRoin.

As clueless as I was? Well, read on:

Sioux City residents have been seeing bright yellow signs that say “Vote Molly Williams” for a few weeks now (especially on the Northside).
My first thoughts:

“There’s an election coming up?”
and more importantly
“What exactly is she running for? …Mayor, city council, homecoming royalty??”

So, uninformed voters, I’m here to shed some light on her campaign team’s gaff. I just learned she is running for Sioux City School Board. If you don’t know, now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

PeAcE,
DeRoin.

Fu-Schnickens vs. Lords of the Underground vs. Das EFX
 
Hey how’s about a “The ‘90’s On My Mind” special presentation?!?
Ready…good…cuz we’re gonna duke it out. We as Americans love to vote on things (presidential election, American Idol, the new flavor of M&Ms), so let’s do it again in the first of a series of matches I seemingly put together at random involving all aspects of pop culture from the best decade ever. I’ll touch on music videos, TV sitcoms, junk food, movie quotes, top athletes, memorable moments, etc. But today, let’s talk Hip-Hop.

Which East Coast group would win this 1990’s Hip-Hop battle? So, bust out the Timberland boots, Starter coats, notty dreadlocks, and help me decide: who had the freshest lyrics? Tightest image? Flyest crew? Coolest songs?

Let’s weigh in on the contestants first. Here’s the tale of the tape:

Das EFX
Meaning: Dray And Skoob Effects
Members: Krazy Drayzy, Skoob
Origin: Virginia by way of NYC
Allies: EPMD, RedMan
Hits: “They Want EFX” (1992), “Mic Cheka” (1992), appearance on “Check Yo Self remix” by Ice Cube (1993), “Real Hip-Hop” (1995)
Style: Pop culture references, cartoonish content, “iggedy” word prefix, double-time rhyming, Sewer slang

Fu-Schnickens
Meaning: For Unity coalition
Members: Chip Fu, Poc Fu, Moc Fu
Origin: Brooklyn
Allies: Shaquille O’Neal, A Tribe Called Quest
Hits: “Ring the Alarm” (1991), “True Fuschnick” (1992), “La Schmoove” ft. Phife Dawg (1993), “What’s Up Doc? (Can We Rock)” ft. Shaq (1993)
Style: Jamaican-influenced flow, pop culture references, tongue-twisters, Kung Fu references

Lords of the Underground
Members: DoItAll, Mr. Funkee, DJ Lord Jazz
Origin: Newark, NJ
Allies: K-Def, Marley Marl, Pete Rock
Hits: “Funky Child” (1993), “Tic Toc” (1993), “Chief Rocka” (1993), “Flow On” (1994)
Style: Eccentric wordplay, loud boastful raps, constant pop culture references, Run-DMC back-n-forth rhyme passing

All three groups had the same downfall: poorly received follow up albums after highly successful debuts filled with hits. Plus, Hip-Hop’s mainstream landscape had passed by such nonsensical, non-gangsta, cartoony acts…subsequently these groups all became lost in the shuffle. Das EFX hung around a lot longer and released more music than the other two, but they couldn’t shake the ‘iggedy’ label and eventually faded into obscurity. The Lords just couldn’t match their initial success and were seen by some as trying to jump on the EFX bandwagon. Fu-Schnickens just plain ran out of steam and seemingly no one wanted to hear what they had to offer; the group only made two albums. So which fleeting faction was your favorite?

–DeRoin.

…Now he just keeps coming back! If you throw a mangy mutt a bone one time, he’ll expect one every time and keep visiting your doorstep. Just like a certain #4, who the media CANNOT leave alone. Favre has just un-retired…for the second time.  (The story is SO big, Chad Ochocinco has even twittered about it.) And unlike Michael Jordan, he didn’t leave too soon to try his hand at baseball. Favre just took his ball and went home (twice!) until a new team called him up to come save their season (twice!)…all amongst a media frenzy that not even John Madden man-love could manufacture.

Sure he’s a good QB, if you can live with 20 interceptions every season (and that’s probably a really low guess). Yeah, I know the Vikings were in dire straits before when they had the tough choice on whether to rely on the scrambling chicken with his head cut off Tarvaris Jackson OR the Iowa State alum Sage Rosenfels (both equally terrible disses on both QBs in my book). Now they’ve got Favre, a guy who’s historically played badly in the Metrodome his whole Packers career. Now he can play terrible there for eight games!

Whether it was the attention or not, Brett Favre can’t stay away for long. Or maybe Brett was just that bored down in Mississippi with his Wrangler jeans.

-DeRoin.

((I almost made it to the end without a Michael Vick joke. I mean my opening was about dogs and a returning quarterback…the material practically writes itself! I can’t resist…so just one: Luckily the Eagles don’t visit the Browns this year. I don’t think Vick would survive the Dawg Pound. Yeah, I know…I’ll see myself out.))

Don’t act like this has never happened to you before.

Situation: Your cell phone’s battery died (or you dropped it in the toilet or it was ran over by a car or …well, there are just too many fun scenarios to list) and you must call your Mom now!

Dilemma: You can’t remember her number, for Pete’s sake! (This is especially bad if calling up Momma would really benefit your pal Pete.) But with your cell phone out of commission, you’re really up the creek.

So, have we collectively succumbed to technology’s power again? Without our digital contacts list, are we helpless to remember data once oh-so vital?

I investigated by doing and no research and asking like three people…and of course, the answer is a resounding ‘Yes’.

Before cell phones, I could remember any Bridgette’s seven digits. Still to this day I can recall most of my best friend’s home phone numbers from when we were growing up…plus my favorite pizza joint. (That one is 402-494-2999; call ‘em up and get a Canadian Bacon and Pepperoni pie– excellent!)

Alas nowadays, I’m stuck without the mystical powers of my celly’s phonebook. I guess I’ve got better things to memorize…or not. Case v. Point- life might be too convenient these days. So, is memorizing phone numbers just the latest skill to fall into obsolescence these days thanks to technology? Only time will tell (I just hope telling time never goes out of style, I rock around the analog clock).

In closing, don’t feel bad when you can’t remember your Mom’s number, I can’t either. If the number’s not 876-5309, I’ve got no clue.

PeAcE,
C. DeRoin.

In my most recent “The ’90’s On My Mind” column, I mentioned the Gus Macker 3-on-3 Basketball tournament. Don’t remember the Macker? Well, get a crash course here: ummm…HERE!

Sioux City/SSC hasn’t hosted a Gus Macker 3-on-3 b-ball tournament since like 1998 (Can someone check the facts for me?). We need one back for 2010! Check the info here: Host a Tournament.

So, let’s get the word out that we want some 3-on-3 hoops action next summer! Alert your city councilman, mailman, accountant, whoever you need to make it happen, or anyone that will listen. So…..who’s with me and my rallying cry?!?!?

DeRoin.

Hey Siouxland gumshoes, let’s talk geography on this rainy day. So, all you amateur detectives, figure this out…

We all know Sgt. Bluff, right? They’ve got an airport and a Pizza Ranch. But their school is called SB-L, with the L standing for Luton. I’ve never been there nor have I heard anything about this place. Is this mysterious community a real city? Town? Village? Has anyone ever visited Luton? What tourist attractions does it boast? How many people live there? Are they all related?

Learning about Luton, Iowa hasn’t ever been a burning desire of mine, but I was reminded of my lack of knowledge about immediate Siouxland geography when looking at a weather map this morning. A weather map that raised even more questions about obscure/remote towns…

Has anyone ever heard of these places?
Mount Lucia, Iowa- appears to be past Riverside next to North Sioux??
Millis Beach, Nebraska- past the Atokad*/Tompkins part of SSC on the way to Jackson??
Glen Elen, Iowa- somewhere between Sgt. Bluff and Bronson??
James, Iowa-  strangely resides in between Leeds and Hinton on Highway 75

So…go ahead, sherlock homies, get on the case. No need for a trench coat and fedora or 1930’s style monologue though. Just report your theories or findings if you have the answers. Or you can suggest your own Sioux City Mysteries if you don’t have the answers.

* = Did you know ‘Atokad’ is ‘Dakota’, as in the county, spelled backwards? Much the way the old Aksarben Arena in Omaha is ‘Nebraska’ spelled backwards? Those clever Cornhuskers.

PeAcE,
DeRoin.

Hey guys, you aren’t clever or witty.

Most people who posted their sarcastic, anti-green sentiments yesterday (check the ‘hey guys’ link) are probably just bitter people who hate their jobs and need someone to take their frustrations out on since they aren’t big or fearless enough to do it in real life. So, we have….the internet. Hooray for anonymousness!

You people will complain about anything and blame the ‘liberal’ media or ’socialism’ or any buzzword you feel fits the bill. And your negativity only begets more negativity. Stop bringing us all down.

So, go ahead, comment on this… you SUCKAS.

PeAcE,
DeRoin.

If you haven’t heard…

The most wonderful weekend of the year starts on Thursday (or Tuesday if you’re a fan of Alabama State or Morehead State). 32 games in four days, oh yes, March Madness is here!

Workrates will plummet, but office gambling will spike. Most will jump in a pool and attempt to convince you they know the difference between RPIs and RBIs. Every Cinderella fan is looking for the next George Mason and every bandwagoner is jumping to support a #1 seed. Everyone will be carrying around their sacred bracket with several highlighters cursing the mid-major that killed their final four matchups by Friday afternoon. No-nothing ‘fans’ will debate who will win based on team colors and mascots. Joe Alum will complain that East Tech State got snubbed again in favor of Arizona. And we’ll all be sick and tired of Clark Kellogg and Seth Davis arguing by the weekend…but who doesn’t love the NCAA Basketball Tournament?!?

Who’s your favorite in the field of 65? I’ll reveal my Final Four on Thursday. Stay tuned.

I already have brackets on Facebook, Yahoo Sports, Kool 99.5, Sioux City Journal, and a pool at work…but am always looking for more to enter.

PeAcE,
DeRoin.

P.S.- Good luck to the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks…the team with the coolest mascot in the big dance.

Say hey, gumshoes…can you decipher any unsolved mysteries about Sioux City?!? Here’s your chance.

In my travels from Morningside to the Northside and from Riverside to Downtown (even from SSC to the Dunes), I’ve come across some real head-scratchers. So, now YOU have the opportunity to flex your detective knowledge and crack the code as I drop a weekly Sioux City Mystery. Here’s the inaugural case:

**Who was “Linda at MCI”?

**What did the famed graffiti on the I-29 ramp at the south end of Hamilton Blvd. mean?

**How long had it been there? Who’s behind it?

**And most shockingly, when was it finally painted over?

I was all set to snap a picture of the graf, but now it’s gone…

Here’s the only evidence I have left:

So…you, my sherlock homies, are on the case. No need for a trench coat and fedora or 1930’s style monologue though. Just report your theories or findings if you have the answers. Or you can suggest your own Sioux City Mysteries if you don’t have the answers.

–DeRoin.