Marriage still matters; `creeping' divorce rate inspires agreement renewal
By Michele Linck Journal staff writer | Posted: Thursday, March 18, 2004
Richard Francis of Sioux City's Westminster Presbyterian Church signs the Siouxland Marriage Agreement at the Sioux City Convention Center Wednesday. (Staff photo by Tim Hynds)
About three dozen clergy members gathered at the Sioux City Convention Center Wednesday to renew a commitment to promoting healthy, lifelong marriages, starting with premarital counseling.
Many had signed the Siouxland Marriage Agreement in 2000 when it was first introduced here by the Northwest Iowa Region of Marriage Matters, a national organization begun 20 years ago in Modesto, Calif.
Marriage Matters works to encourage clergy to insist on premarital counseling to better prepare couples for marriage, and to support and strengthen existing marriages.
In remarks before the signing of an over-sized version of the document, Mark Buss, Northwest Iowa regional director for Iowa Marriage Matters, said that four years ago there were 431 divorces in Woodbury County. The first year after the initial Siouxland Marriage Agreement was signed, that dropped to 391, a 9 percent decline.
He said the divorce rate has begun to creep up again, inspiring renewed attention to the Marriage Matters agreement. Although he did not have exact numbers, he said the rate is still nowhere close to that of 1999.
Michael Hartwig, executive director of Iowa Marriage Matters, said, "Marriage is in trouble. It's easy to get in, easy to get out." He said he wishes couples would spend more time preparing for marriage than they do the wedding, finding a dress, a reception hall and a band.
The Rev. Tim Blanchard, pastor of Central Baptist Church and chairman of Siouxland United for Christ, said clergy touch young people at the critical juncture of wanting to get married. He said during premarital sessions they often discover a "huge gap" in the couple's understanding of what marriage means.
Those signing onto the Siouxland Marriage Agreement promise to require premarital counseling, making it harder for couples to find a minister who will perform the ceremony without preparation. "That gives me a lot of confidence," Blanchard said.
Sioux City Mayor Dave Ferris, noting he was representing only himself, said, "What you're doing is a great thing." Married 28 years and the father of four children, Ferris said, "Marriage is between a man and a woman and we raise kids and I believe it should go on." He said he and his wife have sponsored eight pre-marriage couples through a program in their church: two decided not to marry.
In brief, the agreement calls on signatories to encourage premarital sexual abstinence and to offer "relationship instruction" to help couples establish their relationship on faith and wise choices regarding communication, finances and sexual intimacy, as well as support and strengthen existing marriages and help those who are divorced or widowed to heal and grow as single people. It says "abuse in marriage is contrary to God's plan."
The Rev. Carolyn Bittner, pastor of the United Methodist Church in Hornick, Iowa, was signing the agreement for the first time in Siouxland, but said she was the 111th signer of it in Linn County, when she served a church in Coggon, Iowa.
She said it was "a great comfort" to know that when she told a couple she would not marry them until they had undergone premarital counseling that there were 110 other pastors who would tell them the same thing. "I wanted to sign it here as well," she said.
Michele Linck may be reach at (712) 293-4227 or michelelinck@siouxcityjournal.com.
Many had signed the Siouxland Marriage Agreement in 2000 when it was first introduced here by the Northwest Iowa Region of Marriage Matters, a national organization begun 20 years ago in Modesto, Calif.
Marriage Matters works to encourage clergy to insist on premarital counseling to better prepare couples for marriage, and to support and strengthen existing marriages.
In remarks before the signing of an over-sized version of the document, Mark Buss, Northwest Iowa regional director for Iowa Marriage Matters, said that four years ago there were 431 divorces in Woodbury County. The first year after the initial Siouxland Marriage Agreement was signed, that dropped to 391, a 9 percent decline.
He said the divorce rate has begun to creep up again, inspiring renewed attention to the Marriage Matters agreement. Although he did not have exact numbers, he said the rate is still nowhere close to that of 1999.
Michael Hartwig, executive director of Iowa Marriage Matters, said, "Marriage is in trouble. It's easy to get in, easy to get out." He said he wishes couples would spend more time preparing for marriage than they do the wedding, finding a dress, a reception hall and a band.
The Rev. Tim Blanchard, pastor of Central Baptist Church and chairman of Siouxland United for Christ, said clergy touch young people at the critical juncture of wanting to get married. He said during premarital sessions they often discover a "huge gap" in the couple's understanding of what marriage means.
Those signing onto the Siouxland Marriage Agreement promise to require premarital counseling, making it harder for couples to find a minister who will perform the ceremony without preparation. "That gives me a lot of confidence," Blanchard said.
Sioux City Mayor Dave Ferris, noting he was representing only himself, said, "What you're doing is a great thing." Married 28 years and the father of four children, Ferris said, "Marriage is between a man and a woman and we raise kids and I believe it should go on." He said he and his wife have sponsored eight pre-marriage couples through a program in their church: two decided not to marry.
In brief, the agreement calls on signatories to encourage premarital sexual abstinence and to offer "relationship instruction" to help couples establish their relationship on faith and wise choices regarding communication, finances and sexual intimacy, as well as support and strengthen existing marriages and help those who are divorced or widowed to heal and grow as single people. It says "abuse in marriage is contrary to God's plan."
The Rev. Carolyn Bittner, pastor of the United Methodist Church in Hornick, Iowa, was signing the agreement for the first time in Siouxland, but said she was the 111th signer of it in Linn County, when she served a church in Coggon, Iowa.
She said it was "a great comfort" to know that when she told a couple she would not marry them until they had undergone premarital counseling that there were 110 other pastors who would tell them the same thing. "I wanted to sign it here as well," she said.
Michele Linck may be reach at (712) 293-4227 or michelelinck@siouxcityjournal.com.
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