English language 'can rattle your brains a little'
Posted: Tuesday, May 09, 2006
The issue of migrants from Mexico mastering English and becoming citizens by learning about our system of government is front burner these days along with the tremendous surge of illegals across our border.
Since it's not likely we will round up some 12 million migrants and send them back home, the battle focuses on their willingness to learn to speak our language and to become full-fledged citizens.
Learning a language is the easiest for children whose minds readily absorb new means of communicating. That so many Europeans are fluent in five or six languages indicates their fluency began in childhood. On the other hand, as adults most of us are too lazy to tangle with German, French, Spanish, or Italian. Most of them speak English, anyway.
When it comes to communicating with Mexicans most of us just fall back on "habla non Espanol" and then expect them to respond with something like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was sure, as a rich American with a good education, you would be able to converse in my language."
Because you likely learned English as a kid, it came easily and naturally. But its proper usage bears little resemblance to proper English of the old days since too many of us have forgotten how to write and talk. Still, English can rattle your brains a little when you consider words with identical spelling and double meaning, sound-alike words that are spelled differently, and words that are misleading because they don't mean what they seem to say.
Here are some examples that might make you wonder how you ever learned English even when your brain was finely tuned and receptive. You must have been a genius.
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm is used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- When shot at the dove dove into the bushes.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
Had enough? Well, I've got more.
- There is no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger.
- English muffins weren't invented in England and the French didn't think up French fries.
- Sweetmeats are actually candies while sweetbreads, which sure aren't sweet, are meat, sort of.
- If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
- You have to wonder about language when your house may burn up as it burns down.
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy may be opposites?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- A buck does funny things when the does are present.
I haven't used nearly all of the language quirks I found on an Internet list. There are hundreds more. We should be thankful we understand each other as well as we do. If I need Spanish I'll probably have to hire a translator.
- A study, yes, another one, has been done to figure the affect of low-priced labor on compensation of workers at various levels of education. When a lot of cheap labor is available, according to the study, all levels from high school dropouts to college graduates tended to lose ground in the period 1980 to 2000.
Paul Samuelson, an economist, showed losses as follows: All workers, minus 3.3 percent. High school dropouts, minus 8.2 percent, high school graduates, minus 2.2 percent, some college, minus 2.6 percent and college grads, minus 3.8 percent. Long-term trends, he figures, are less for all categories except the dropouts.
If those trends solidify, we may all have to learn Spanish, which has its quirks, too.
Better education is our only economic salvation. So, young people, buckle down.
Dean Krenz is a former publisher of The Journal.
Since it's not likely we will round up some 12 million migrants and send them back home, the battle focuses on their willingness to learn to speak our language and to become full-fledged citizens.
Learning a language is the easiest for children whose minds readily absorb new means of communicating. That so many Europeans are fluent in five or six languages indicates their fluency began in childhood. On the other hand, as adults most of us are too lazy to tangle with German, French, Spanish, or Italian. Most of them speak English, anyway.
When it comes to communicating with Mexicans most of us just fall back on "habla non Espanol" and then expect them to respond with something like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I was sure, as a rich American with a good education, you would be able to converse in my language."
Because you likely learned English as a kid, it came easily and naturally. But its proper usage bears little resemblance to proper English of the old days since too many of us have forgotten how to write and talk. Still, English can rattle your brains a little when you consider words with identical spelling and double meaning, sound-alike words that are spelled differently, and words that are misleading because they don't mean what they seem to say.
Here are some examples that might make you wonder how you ever learned English even when your brain was finely tuned and receptive. You must have been a genius.
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm is used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- When shot at the dove dove into the bushes.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
Had enough? Well, I've got more.
- There is no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger.
- English muffins weren't invented in England and the French didn't think up French fries.
- Sweetmeats are actually candies while sweetbreads, which sure aren't sweet, are meat, sort of.
- If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
- You have to wonder about language when your house may burn up as it burns down.
- How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy may be opposites?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- A buck does funny things when the does are present.
I haven't used nearly all of the language quirks I found on an Internet list. There are hundreds more. We should be thankful we understand each other as well as we do. If I need Spanish I'll probably have to hire a translator.
- A study, yes, another one, has been done to figure the affect of low-priced labor on compensation of workers at various levels of education. When a lot of cheap labor is available, according to the study, all levels from high school dropouts to college graduates tended to lose ground in the period 1980 to 2000.
Paul Samuelson, an economist, showed losses as follows: All workers, minus 3.3 percent. High school dropouts, minus 8.2 percent, high school graduates, minus 2.2 percent, some college, minus 2.6 percent and college grads, minus 3.8 percent. Long-term trends, he figures, are less for all categories except the dropouts.
If those trends solidify, we may all have to learn Spanish, which has its quirks, too.
Better education is our only economic salvation. So, young people, buckle down.
Dean Krenz is a former publisher of The Journal.
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