Mother, grandmother of Marine create quilt panels
Posted: Saturday, February 10, 2007
GRAND ISLAND, Neb. (AP) -- The quilt panels that Dixie Codner and her mother, Doris Shupe, just completed after a year of work weren't made with intricate patterns or hard-to-work-with fabric.
But that doesn't mean they don't represent some of the most difficult sewing that you've ever seen.
"It can be kind of emotionally draining," said Codner, who lives in Shelton. "It's not just something you can just take out and get done."
The women's creations are a tribute to Lance Cpl. Kyle Codner, Dixie's son and Doris' grandson, and the two men who died with him in Iraq in May 2004.
Shupe and Codner sewed the panels as part of an Honor the Fallen Memorial Quilt that is planned to be displayed throughout the country.
The organization is soliciting personalized quilts made by family members and friends of soldiers who have died while fighting the war on terror.
Like the other two panels the women made, Kyle's has bits and pieces throughout that display his friendly, happy-go-lucky demeanor.
One photo on the quilt depicts him waving while sitting on a jeep, a wide grin on his face. Another shows him posing with an Iraqi child.
The personal touches are there on the other soldiers' panels based on input Codner received from their families.
Cpl. Matthew Henderson's panel shows his wedding photo, as well as the words "Hey Chuck" -- in honor of the nickname his father called him.
Cpl. Dominique Nicolas is represented by the words "practical joker" and "loved kids" and the Bible's John 15:13: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
Like other parents of those killed in war, Codner has received dozens of pieces of art and memorials in her son's honor.
And she jumps at opportunities like the Honor the Fallen project to keep his memory alive.
Still, after 2.5 years, the healing for her and her husband, Wain, is difficult.
"Everything I do from here on in is really bittersweet," said Codner, eyes welling up with tears. "I'd give it all back -- all the portraits, all the keepsakes -- to have Kyle back here with me. But it's not going to happen."
Kyle died when he was 19, just 11 months after he joined the Marines. When he headed to Camp Pendleton in Southern California to join his unit in January 2004, he took along his tennis racket and his golf clubs. He told his mother he was going to learn how to surf.
The evening he arrived, his parents got an unexpected phone call: Kyle was headed to Iraq. Exactly four months later, he was killed along with Henderson and Nicolas while clearing roads of bombs.
For a long time, grief overwhelmed Codner. Now, she has learned to control it, enough to allow herself to function normally most days.
But there are still times when it comes flaring back.
She'll be strolling along the aisles of the grocery store, when suddenly a box of Fruity Pebbles -- Kyle's favorite cereal -- will send her back out to the car in tears.
Being ambushed by grief -- that's what she calls it.
She hopes that seeing Kyle and his fellow soldiers honored across the country through the quilt panels she has made will help keep his sacrifice fresh for others, too.
Most people are incredibly generous and caring, Codner said. She has found a network of other grieving parents, and many people around Shelton have done countless little things to help her cope.
But others still don't know what to do with Kyle's death. They change the subject whenever Codner or Shupe brings him up, or they just avoid them.
"A lot of people don't say anything because they don't want to say the wrong thing," said Shupe, who lives in Grand Island.
Codner understands that fear. People don't need to have all the answers, she said, but even the smallest gestures can help get a grieving mother through a rough stretch.
"People don't even have to say anything," she said. "They can just let us talk or give us a hug."
But that doesn't mean they don't represent some of the most difficult sewing that you've ever seen.
"It can be kind of emotionally draining," said Codner, who lives in Shelton. "It's not just something you can just take out and get done."
The women's creations are a tribute to Lance Cpl. Kyle Codner, Dixie's son and Doris' grandson, and the two men who died with him in Iraq in May 2004.
Shupe and Codner sewed the panels as part of an Honor the Fallen Memorial Quilt that is planned to be displayed throughout the country.
The organization is soliciting personalized quilts made by family members and friends of soldiers who have died while fighting the war on terror.
Like the other two panels the women made, Kyle's has bits and pieces throughout that display his friendly, happy-go-lucky demeanor.
One photo on the quilt depicts him waving while sitting on a jeep, a wide grin on his face. Another shows him posing with an Iraqi child.
The personal touches are there on the other soldiers' panels based on input Codner received from their families.
Cpl. Matthew Henderson's panel shows his wedding photo, as well as the words "Hey Chuck" -- in honor of the nickname his father called him.
Cpl. Dominique Nicolas is represented by the words "practical joker" and "loved kids" and the Bible's John 15:13: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
Like other parents of those killed in war, Codner has received dozens of pieces of art and memorials in her son's honor.
And she jumps at opportunities like the Honor the Fallen project to keep his memory alive.
Still, after 2.5 years, the healing for her and her husband, Wain, is difficult.
"Everything I do from here on in is really bittersweet," said Codner, eyes welling up with tears. "I'd give it all back -- all the portraits, all the keepsakes -- to have Kyle back here with me. But it's not going to happen."
Kyle died when he was 19, just 11 months after he joined the Marines. When he headed to Camp Pendleton in Southern California to join his unit in January 2004, he took along his tennis racket and his golf clubs. He told his mother he was going to learn how to surf.
The evening he arrived, his parents got an unexpected phone call: Kyle was headed to Iraq. Exactly four months later, he was killed along with Henderson and Nicolas while clearing roads of bombs.
For a long time, grief overwhelmed Codner. Now, she has learned to control it, enough to allow herself to function normally most days.
But there are still times when it comes flaring back.
She'll be strolling along the aisles of the grocery store, when suddenly a box of Fruity Pebbles -- Kyle's favorite cereal -- will send her back out to the car in tears.
Being ambushed by grief -- that's what she calls it.
She hopes that seeing Kyle and his fellow soldiers honored across the country through the quilt panels she has made will help keep his sacrifice fresh for others, too.
Most people are incredibly generous and caring, Codner said. She has found a network of other grieving parents, and many people around Shelton have done countless little things to help her cope.
But others still don't know what to do with Kyle's death. They change the subject whenever Codner or Shupe brings him up, or they just avoid them.
"A lot of people don't say anything because they don't want to say the wrong thing," said Shupe, who lives in Grand Island.
Codner understands that fear. People don't need to have all the answers, she said, but even the smallest gestures can help get a grieving mother through a rough stretch.
"People don't even have to say anything," she said. "They can just let us talk or give us a hug."
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