Volunteer provides hope for future following loss
By Joanne Fox, Journal staff writer | Posted: Monday, February 12, 2007
As a health care professional, Pat Hammerstrom had seen death in her career. Growing up, she had experienced death in the loss of grandparents and a handicapped brother.
Yet, she was still not prepared for her reaction to the loss of her mother to cancer in 1972 and, that same year, a stillborn son at four months into her pregnancy.
"Nothing hit me like those two experiences," she insisted, "and there was no group to help me with my grief."
It was those two events that motivated her to volunteer with a Grief and Growth program, initiated in the late 1980s at Marian Health Center -- now Mercy Medical Center. Two decades later, she continues to help facilitate the Grief and Growth programs provided by Hospice of Siouxland.
Hammerstrom recalled being approached by Marcie Moran in psychological and mental health services at Marian, who was working on her master's thesis on the grieving process. Moran initiated the Grief and Growth program and invited Hammerstrom, then a faculty member of St. Joseph Mercy School of Nursing, to be a part of the presentations.
"I remembered that awful time of loss and what it took me to get through it," Hammerstrom said. "I probably had added to my problems by not seeking help. I thought, 'Surely, something like this Grief and Growth program could help others.' So, I began volunteering."
The nursing school closed in the mid '80s and "it seemed natural for Hospice to take over the program," Hammerstrom said. Since she had previously volunteered with Hospice, it also seemed a natural segue for herself.
Offered three times a year, Grief and Growth is an eight-week educational and directed support group program that helps individuals understand the dynamics of grief. It provides participants a safe environment within which they can express feelings. The program is available to adults who have experienced the death of a loved one.
Hammerstrom explained that each week during the eight-week session, participants gather for large group activities, then break into small groups -- led by a facilitator such as herself -- to examine bereavement issues, reactions to death, spirituality, and the future following a loss; all of this is presented in terms of "normalcy," said Marie O'Gara, fund development coordinator for Hospice.
"Our grief support group is presented as a healthy means of healing," she said. "The grief journey can be painful and difficult at times, but it is a normal occurrence."
"We stress that the group is not some psychological fix over eight weeks," Hammerstrom added. "We point out to participants that grief can be experienced not only through death, but other losses, like loss of health or a job. Those are grief issues as well that might need help."
That first Grief and Growth meeting proves to be very typical, Hammerstrom said. Discomfort and silence is evident among the 35 to 50 in attendance who may have lost a parent, spouse, sibling, friend or child to illness, accident or suicide.
"Gradually, people began to talk more and eventually, there's laughter," she said. "It's not even unusual for groups to continue meeting after the eight weeks. I just had dinner recently with a group I first facilitated in 1993."
Grief and Growth is publicized in a variety of ways. Families who have used Hospice of Siouxland services receive an invitation to attend. Hospice also has a mailing list and a monthly newsletter. The program is promoted in church bulletins and the media, but Hammerstrom said word-of-mouth also results in responses.
After so many years of a close involvement with death and loss, Hammerstrom said she does empathize with individuals, but tempers that involvement without losing her perspective.
"I have to remember that what they're experiencing is their story and not mine," she said. "I think my biggest fear is that someday I might find it all just routine and I won't feel compassion for them. But that hasn't happened."
Through fund-raising efforts and memorial donations, Grief and Growth is offered at no cost, although participant donations are accepted. The next program will begin on March 6. Sessions are held from 7 to 9 p.m. at Hospice of Siouxland, 4300 Hamilton Blvd. Pre-registration is required because group size is limited. For more information call Hospice at 233-4144 or visit the agency's Web site at www.hospiceofsiouxland.org.
VITA
Name: Pat Hammerstrom
Hometown: Harris, Iowa; moved to Sioux City in 1953
Education: 1953 graduate of Harris High School; earned an R.N. degree from St. Joseph Mercy School of Nursing in 1956; awarded a bachelor of arts degree in psychology from Briar Cliff College in 1978
Professional: faculty of St. Joseph Mercy School of Nursing 1956-86; employed with outpatient psychology department at Marian Health Center, later Mercy Medical Center from 1986 until retiring in 1993
Personal: married to husband John since 1959; four children, one deceased; five grandchildren; two great-grandchildren
How she's making a difference: by volunteering with Hospice of Siouxland's Grief and Growth program
Yet, she was still not prepared for her reaction to the loss of her mother to cancer in 1972 and, that same year, a stillborn son at four months into her pregnancy.
"Nothing hit me like those two experiences," she insisted, "and there was no group to help me with my grief."
It was those two events that motivated her to volunteer with a Grief and Growth program, initiated in the late 1980s at Marian Health Center -- now Mercy Medical Center. Two decades later, she continues to help facilitate the Grief and Growth programs provided by Hospice of Siouxland.
Hammerstrom recalled being approached by Marcie Moran in psychological and mental health services at Marian, who was working on her master's thesis on the grieving process. Moran initiated the Grief and Growth program and invited Hammerstrom, then a faculty member of St. Joseph Mercy School of Nursing, to be a part of the presentations.
"I remembered that awful time of loss and what it took me to get through it," Hammerstrom said. "I probably had added to my problems by not seeking help. I thought, 'Surely, something like this Grief and Growth program could help others.' So, I began volunteering."
The nursing school closed in the mid '80s and "it seemed natural for Hospice to take over the program," Hammerstrom said. Since she had previously volunteered with Hospice, it also seemed a natural segue for herself.
Offered three times a year, Grief and Growth is an eight-week educational and directed support group program that helps individuals understand the dynamics of grief. It provides participants a safe environment within which they can express feelings. The program is available to adults who have experienced the death of a loved one.
Hammerstrom explained that each week during the eight-week session, participants gather for large group activities, then break into small groups -- led by a facilitator such as herself -- to examine bereavement issues, reactions to death, spirituality, and the future following a loss; all of this is presented in terms of "normalcy," said Marie O'Gara, fund development coordinator for Hospice.
"Our grief support group is presented as a healthy means of healing," she said. "The grief journey can be painful and difficult at times, but it is a normal occurrence."
"We stress that the group is not some psychological fix over eight weeks," Hammerstrom added. "We point out to participants that grief can be experienced not only through death, but other losses, like loss of health or a job. Those are grief issues as well that might need help."
That first Grief and Growth meeting proves to be very typical, Hammerstrom said. Discomfort and silence is evident among the 35 to 50 in attendance who may have lost a parent, spouse, sibling, friend or child to illness, accident or suicide.
"Gradually, people began to talk more and eventually, there's laughter," she said. "It's not even unusual for groups to continue meeting after the eight weeks. I just had dinner recently with a group I first facilitated in 1993."
Grief and Growth is publicized in a variety of ways. Families who have used Hospice of Siouxland services receive an invitation to attend. Hospice also has a mailing list and a monthly newsletter. The program is promoted in church bulletins and the media, but Hammerstrom said word-of-mouth also results in responses.
After so many years of a close involvement with death and loss, Hammerstrom said she does empathize with individuals, but tempers that involvement without losing her perspective.
"I have to remember that what they're experiencing is their story and not mine," she said. "I think my biggest fear is that someday I might find it all just routine and I won't feel compassion for them. But that hasn't happened."
Through fund-raising efforts and memorial donations, Grief and Growth is offered at no cost, although participant donations are accepted. The next program will begin on March 6. Sessions are held from 7 to 9 p.m. at Hospice of Siouxland, 4300 Hamilton Blvd. Pre-registration is required because group size is limited. For more information call Hospice at 233-4144 or visit the agency's Web site at www.hospiceofsiouxland.org.
VITA
Name: Pat Hammerstrom
Hometown: Harris, Iowa; moved to Sioux City in 1953
Education: 1953 graduate of Harris High School; earned an R.N. degree from St. Joseph Mercy School of Nursing in 1956; awarded a bachelor of arts degree in psychology from Briar Cliff College in 1978
Professional: faculty of St. Joseph Mercy School of Nursing 1956-86; employed with outpatient psychology department at Marian Health Center, later Mercy Medical Center from 1986 until retiring in 1993
Personal: married to husband John since 1959; four children, one deceased; five grandchildren; two great-grandchildren
How she's making a difference: by volunteering with Hospice of Siouxland's Grief and Growth program
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Concerned wrote on Feb 12, 2007 5:38 AM: