Friends reflect on roommate experiences
By Joanne Fox Journal staff writer | Posted: Monday, August 27, 2007
For the moment, Brady Helmink was calling the shots, and it wasn't on the Morningside College basketball court.
"The TV could go here or it could go here ...," he began.
"If it's bigger, it should go out here!" interjected Derek Nolan, while Nick McGraw and Troy Weber voiced their own opinions about what should be done with the TV.
"Your mom isn't here to do this!" Nolan teased while walking away from the chaos that was going on in Helmink's room Thursday at Lags Hall.
Helmink was the last of the four suite mates to move into the brand-new dorm, dedicated earlier this month. Lags Hall houses 60 students in 15 suites, each with a kitchen, a bathroom, separate sink and separate restroom, a common area and hallways to four bedrooms.
Nolan, who serves as one of two residential assistants for the brand-new dorm, had been on site since Aug. 5. McGraw moved in within days of Nolan, and Weber arrived Aug. 19.
Helmink and Weber play basketball for the Mustangs. Nolan and McGraw are in choir. Familiarity, classes and a variety of campus organizations that also brought them together were among the reasons the four chose to room together for the 2007-08 school year.
"My first roommate experience was a positive one," recalled Nolan, now a junior. "But honestly, I just wanted to live by myself, so as a sophomore, I applied to be an R.A."
"I knew of my first roommate because we played basketball against each other," explained Weber, a sophomore. "But we operated on totally different schedules."
"I also knew my first roommate through mutual friends," said McGraw, another sophomore. "We got along but also had different lifestyles."
"My first roommate was an awesome experience," said Helmink, a junior. "But we were just different people."
When pressed, all the guys hemmed and hawwed about specifics that bothered them about those first roommates, choosing to be diplomatic in characterizing choices in study habits, girlfriends and sleep patterns.
"You should not be spared the roommate experience in college," McGraw insisted, then grinned. "Especially the community shower and bathroom experience!"
Loosening up, the guys wanted to provide their own insights into what makes a "good" roommate.
"You need to appreciate each other...," Weber began.
"Understanding," Nolan said, while others nodded, "and know that people are different. They aren't going to be exactly like you, so you need to be forgiving."
"Talk a lot, too," Weber continued. "Communication is so important."
So, what do they need to be understanding and forgiving about?
Nolan was on his feet, striding into the kitchen area. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a drawer.
"Nick leaves stuff open," he said, while the others roared, yelling, "Yes! Yes!"
"I can't help it," McGraw said with a shake of the head.
As he closed each, Nolan said, "Now, see, I could get angry and say something, but instead, I just close them. That's understanding."
"My guess is, they're going to get sick of these sitting around," Weber said gesturing to a plastic tumbler half-full of a protein drink.
"No," McGraw said. "Troy listens to music and Derek talks to his girlfriend for, like, three hours."
"NOT!" Nolan shot back. "It's only an hour."
"But we still love Derek because he brought 'Guitar Hero,'" Weber said, referring to a video game that uses a guitar as a controller.
"I guess I'm really organized," Helmink said, struggling to find something amiss and looking at the others for affirmation. "I don't think I'm a bad roommate."
The guys may be lucky to belong to their own mutual admiration society, but all had stories of others who had roommates from hell.
"I heard of this one roommate who never left the room and was on the phone all the time," McGraw noted.
"There was one who had his girlfriend over 24-7," Weber added. "No privacy."
As an R.A., Nolan had the most "bad roommate" stories.
"I think the worst is people who are dirty, and I've had to deal with situations in which the roommate didn't clean up after themselves or left their trash all over or didn't shower," he said.
"You have to understand that roommates are forced into a situation and your space is going to be invaded," Nolan added. "You have to try and meet on some common ground."
In addition to communication and respect, Dan Mabery, Morningside's director of residence life, added working together to resolve problems and not imposing one's beliefs on the roommate.
"Have a sense of humor," he said. "Sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and laugh with each other and even laugh at ourselves."
According to the Morningside student handbook, all of the guys are obligated to live on campus until they reach senior status, with the exception of McGraw, who hails from Sioux City.
"I needed to go off because I didn't want to be a homebody," he said. "I know people who decided to live off campus, and it really takes away from your sense of belonging here."
Weber said he wouldn't dream of not rooming with someone.
"You've got a buddy all the time," he said. "There's always somebody to do something with, even if it's, 'Hey, let's get something to eat!' You don't have to do stuff alone."
"Never in a million years would I leave the campus," Nolan said. "I'm involved in too much stuff, so it's really convenient to live in the dorm and not worry about getting to an activity."
As the only one who meets the legal drinking age of 21, Helmink sidestepped the question of whether he would be making beer runs.
"I think a big reason we live together is that we try to be solid Christians and stand for good things," he said, while the others made no attempt to disagree or joke about his statement.
Lags Hall is the home of the Morningside College Leadership Academy, an organization recently developed to enhance students' skills by attending seminars led by Siouxland business leaders and conducting community-service learning projects.
"I can't be enforcing the rules if I'm breaking them," Nolan pointed out.
"I think it's why we're such good friends," Helmink proposed, and the others nodded as he added, "We want to set a good example."
By the numbers
3,560: Dollars it costs to live at Lags Hall for one school year.
775: Morningside residence hall population.
75: Percentage of students who live on campus.
"The TV could go here or it could go here ...," he began.
"If it's bigger, it should go out here!" interjected Derek Nolan, while Nick McGraw and Troy Weber voiced their own opinions about what should be done with the TV.
"Your mom isn't here to do this!" Nolan teased while walking away from the chaos that was going on in Helmink's room Thursday at Lags Hall.
Helmink was the last of the four suite mates to move into the brand-new dorm, dedicated earlier this month. Lags Hall houses 60 students in 15 suites, each with a kitchen, a bathroom, separate sink and separate restroom, a common area and hallways to four bedrooms.
Nolan, who serves as one of two residential assistants for the brand-new dorm, had been on site since Aug. 5. McGraw moved in within days of Nolan, and Weber arrived Aug. 19.
Helmink and Weber play basketball for the Mustangs. Nolan and McGraw are in choir. Familiarity, classes and a variety of campus organizations that also brought them together were among the reasons the four chose to room together for the 2007-08 school year.
"My first roommate experience was a positive one," recalled Nolan, now a junior. "But honestly, I just wanted to live by myself, so as a sophomore, I applied to be an R.A."
"I knew of my first roommate because we played basketball against each other," explained Weber, a sophomore. "But we operated on totally different schedules."
"I also knew my first roommate through mutual friends," said McGraw, another sophomore. "We got along but also had different lifestyles."
"My first roommate was an awesome experience," said Helmink, a junior. "But we were just different people."
When pressed, all the guys hemmed and hawwed about specifics that bothered them about those first roommates, choosing to be diplomatic in characterizing choices in study habits, girlfriends and sleep patterns.
"You should not be spared the roommate experience in college," McGraw insisted, then grinned. "Especially the community shower and bathroom experience!"
Loosening up, the guys wanted to provide their own insights into what makes a "good" roommate.
"You need to appreciate each other...," Weber began.
"Understanding," Nolan said, while others nodded, "and know that people are different. They aren't going to be exactly like you, so you need to be forgiving."
"Talk a lot, too," Weber continued. "Communication is so important."
So, what do they need to be understanding and forgiving about?
Nolan was on his feet, striding into the kitchen area. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a drawer.
"Nick leaves stuff open," he said, while the others roared, yelling, "Yes! Yes!"
"I can't help it," McGraw said with a shake of the head.
As he closed each, Nolan said, "Now, see, I could get angry and say something, but instead, I just close them. That's understanding."
"My guess is, they're going to get sick of these sitting around," Weber said gesturing to a plastic tumbler half-full of a protein drink.
"No," McGraw said. "Troy listens to music and Derek talks to his girlfriend for, like, three hours."
"NOT!" Nolan shot back. "It's only an hour."
"But we still love Derek because he brought 'Guitar Hero,'" Weber said, referring to a video game that uses a guitar as a controller.
"I guess I'm really organized," Helmink said, struggling to find something amiss and looking at the others for affirmation. "I don't think I'm a bad roommate."
The guys may be lucky to belong to their own mutual admiration society, but all had stories of others who had roommates from hell.
"I heard of this one roommate who never left the room and was on the phone all the time," McGraw noted.
"There was one who had his girlfriend over 24-7," Weber added. "No privacy."
As an R.A., Nolan had the most "bad roommate" stories.
"I think the worst is people who are dirty, and I've had to deal with situations in which the roommate didn't clean up after themselves or left their trash all over or didn't shower," he said.
"You have to understand that roommates are forced into a situation and your space is going to be invaded," Nolan added. "You have to try and meet on some common ground."
In addition to communication and respect, Dan Mabery, Morningside's director of residence life, added working together to resolve problems and not imposing one's beliefs on the roommate.
"Have a sense of humor," he said. "Sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and laugh with each other and even laugh at ourselves."
According to the Morningside student handbook, all of the guys are obligated to live on campus until they reach senior status, with the exception of McGraw, who hails from Sioux City.
"I needed to go off because I didn't want to be a homebody," he said. "I know people who decided to live off campus, and it really takes away from your sense of belonging here."
Weber said he wouldn't dream of not rooming with someone.
"You've got a buddy all the time," he said. "There's always somebody to do something with, even if it's, 'Hey, let's get something to eat!' You don't have to do stuff alone."
"Never in a million years would I leave the campus," Nolan said. "I'm involved in too much stuff, so it's really convenient to live in the dorm and not worry about getting to an activity."
As the only one who meets the legal drinking age of 21, Helmink sidestepped the question of whether he would be making beer runs.
"I think a big reason we live together is that we try to be solid Christians and stand for good things," he said, while the others made no attempt to disagree or joke about his statement.
Lags Hall is the home of the Morningside College Leadership Academy, an organization recently developed to enhance students' skills by attending seminars led by Siouxland business leaders and conducting community-service learning projects.
"I can't be enforcing the rules if I'm breaking them," Nolan pointed out.
"I think it's why we're such good friends," Helmink proposed, and the others nodded as he added, "We want to set a good example."
By the numbers
3,560: Dollars it costs to live at Lags Hall for one school year.
775: Morningside residence hall population.
75: Percentage of students who live on campus.
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SC wrote on Aug 27, 2007 9:39 AM: