Family reflects on student's college experience
By Joanne Fox Journal staff writer | Posted: Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Nolans relax in their Hawarden, Iowa, home. From left, are Don, holding Paisley; Michele, holding Lizzi, Derek and Drew. (Staff photo by Joanne Fox)
HAWARDEN, Iowa -- This year's holiday break for Morningside College junior Derek Nolan will probably go down in the annals of Nolan family history.
"It started with my dad, who had a seizure that week, and then my grandmother fell and broke her wrist and hip," said Michele Nolan, Derek's mom. "It ended with a fire at my mom's house on Christmas Eve day and getting stranded in a blizzard at Don's parents' house."
Don Nolan is Derek's dad.
But it wasn't a sad or defeated attitude that surfaced at the table. It was a grateful one.
"In a town of 250 people, about 12 firefighters helped and nobody was hurt," Michele said. "The snowstorm -- it just brought it home to me that Christmas is really in your heart."
"It certainly gave us a mindset that what mattered most was not the big meal or the gifts," said Derek. "The blessing was in each other."
The Nolans relaxed at their dining room table on a recent Saturday afternoon just before son Drew's basketball game, ready to discuss the changes they have witnessed in their four-member family since Derek enrolled at Morningside College.
"I think he's more mature," said Don Nolan. "I'd almost call him worldly."
"It's different when you live in a small town," Michele pointed out of the community of Hawarden, population 1,858. "You think the big city like Sioux City or Sioux Falls is awesome, but you like the closeness of a small town."
"But what happens is, you can get that small-town mindset," Derek qualified. "I think since I enrolled at Morningside, I've gotten away from those beliefs."
"I would agree," Don said. "I don't think he's as narrow in his convictions as he was in high school."
Not only is he not as narrow, Michele admitted her son is a bit bolder.
"He's taken to correcting us in our thoughts," she said. "I guess we're not as liberal as he is."
Both parents thought much of that segue from high school Republican to college moderate was a result of Derek's exposure to three diverse personalities in his roommates, Brady Helmink, Nick McGraw and Troy Weber.
"Their interests are so varied that they almost have to have an influence on him," Don said. "But I think that's been a great facet to his growth and maturity. And I think it's brought about a new respect for others as a result of that influence."
Michele added that Lags Hall, where the boys live in a four-room suite, is also responsible for the maturity in her son.
"Derek and his roommates get along great, but the whole dorm is one big, supportive family system," she said. "All of the students treat us like we're their mom and dad, too."
Derek agreed with that insight, adding: "There's such a diversity in the dorm. You see representations from all kinds of identities, but we're all able to work and live with each other."
But the three other roommates had more than just interesting personalities that appealed to Derek. They brought personal belief systems that have affected him.
"They all bring a sense and some degree of accountability," he said. "Brady offers this great 'backbone' that I so admire. And Nick is so much fun to be around with his positive personality. And Troy is the ultimate in laid back. I learn from him not to be so uptight."
Derek is the first one in the family to leave the nest for college. Drew, quiet for most of the interview, said he missed hanging out with his big brother. Don was more philosophical about his son's departure for school.
"I don't think he's really left our family," he said. "I think I will always be a support in his life, but maybe not the primary one."
Michele sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue when asked how she factors into her son's life. "It's hard not having him around because I so enjoy him," she said. "We talk a lot, and I try not to worry when I can't get a hold of him. I miss talking to him about day-to-day stuff or his concerns."
"I guess I see my folks as the ATM," said Derek, helping his mom regain her composure with a bit of humor.
"No, they're my support system," he clarified. "I see them as my cement block, always there and solid."
The school year is half over for Morningside College, and Michele reflected on the impact those first 18 weeks have had on her son.
"I know going to school should be Derek's No. 1 priority, but I think his outside activities have provided him with as much growth as what he's learned in the classroom," Michele said, referring to Derek's involvement with band, choir and Leadership Academy. "Plus his role as an R.A. (resident hall assistant) gives him trouble-shooting and people skills that he'll use in the real world. I think it's great it's not all textbook experiences."
"It started with my dad, who had a seizure that week, and then my grandmother fell and broke her wrist and hip," said Michele Nolan, Derek's mom. "It ended with a fire at my mom's house on Christmas Eve day and getting stranded in a blizzard at Don's parents' house."
Don Nolan is Derek's dad.
But it wasn't a sad or defeated attitude that surfaced at the table. It was a grateful one.
"In a town of 250 people, about 12 firefighters helped and nobody was hurt," Michele said. "The snowstorm -- it just brought it home to me that Christmas is really in your heart."
"It certainly gave us a mindset that what mattered most was not the big meal or the gifts," said Derek. "The blessing was in each other."
The Nolans relaxed at their dining room table on a recent Saturday afternoon just before son Drew's basketball game, ready to discuss the changes they have witnessed in their four-member family since Derek enrolled at Morningside College.
"I think he's more mature," said Don Nolan. "I'd almost call him worldly."
"It's different when you live in a small town," Michele pointed out of the community of Hawarden, population 1,858. "You think the big city like Sioux City or Sioux Falls is awesome, but you like the closeness of a small town."
"But what happens is, you can get that small-town mindset," Derek qualified. "I think since I enrolled at Morningside, I've gotten away from those beliefs."
"I would agree," Don said. "I don't think he's as narrow in his convictions as he was in high school."
Not only is he not as narrow, Michele admitted her son is a bit bolder.
"He's taken to correcting us in our thoughts," she said. "I guess we're not as liberal as he is."
Both parents thought much of that segue from high school Republican to college moderate was a result of Derek's exposure to three diverse personalities in his roommates, Brady Helmink, Nick McGraw and Troy Weber.
"Their interests are so varied that they almost have to have an influence on him," Don said. "But I think that's been a great facet to his growth and maturity. And I think it's brought about a new respect for others as a result of that influence."
Michele added that Lags Hall, where the boys live in a four-room suite, is also responsible for the maturity in her son.
"Derek and his roommates get along great, but the whole dorm is one big, supportive family system," she said. "All of the students treat us like we're their mom and dad, too."
Derek agreed with that insight, adding: "There's such a diversity in the dorm. You see representations from all kinds of identities, but we're all able to work and live with each other."
But the three other roommates had more than just interesting personalities that appealed to Derek. They brought personal belief systems that have affected him.
"They all bring a sense and some degree of accountability," he said. "Brady offers this great 'backbone' that I so admire. And Nick is so much fun to be around with his positive personality. And Troy is the ultimate in laid back. I learn from him not to be so uptight."
Derek is the first one in the family to leave the nest for college. Drew, quiet for most of the interview, said he missed hanging out with his big brother. Don was more philosophical about his son's departure for school.
"I don't think he's really left our family," he said. "I think I will always be a support in his life, but maybe not the primary one."
Michele sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue when asked how she factors into her son's life. "It's hard not having him around because I so enjoy him," she said. "We talk a lot, and I try not to worry when I can't get a hold of him. I miss talking to him about day-to-day stuff or his concerns."
"I guess I see my folks as the ATM," said Derek, helping his mom regain her composure with a bit of humor.
"No, they're my support system," he clarified. "I see them as my cement block, always there and solid."
The school year is half over for Morningside College, and Michele reflected on the impact those first 18 weeks have had on her son.
"I know going to school should be Derek's No. 1 priority, but I think his outside activities have provided him with as much growth as what he's learned in the classroom," Michele said, referring to Derek's involvement with band, choir and Leadership Academy. "Plus his role as an R.A. (resident hall assistant) gives him trouble-shooting and people skills that he'll use in the real world. I think it's great it's not all textbook experiences."
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