Neb. woman's book aimed at kids whose pets died
Posted: Thursday, September 18, 2008
LEXINGTON, Neb. (AP) -- The loss of a family pet can be hard on adults, but helping a child understand his or her feelings can be even tougher.
Her search for a way to help children mourn and to acknowledge that pain inspired a Lexington teacher to write a children's book.
"Goodbye Bernie" not only records her family's experience but also discusses mourning, acceptance, and letting go and honors Bernie's memory.
"I like books because they can say what we need to hear," Sheri Baldwin said.
Sixteen years ago when Baldwin's family lost their cat, Bernie, she couldn't find just the right book about death to share with children. Over the years, each time Baldwin encountered someone who mentioned the death of a pet, she felt motivated to work on the project and became determined to finish.
"That was my thorn," said Baldwin, 53.
Josh Baldwin was 10 when Bernie died. The gray cat had been with the family Josh's entire life. Watching her son cope prompted Baldwin to write a poem. It was like a story, but it lacked an ending, she said of the initial effort. Baldwin said she felt the need to write for her personal benefit.
It was a conversation between Baldwin's husband, Jim, and Josh that sparked the ending she was looking for, even though Jim thought he let his son down with the answer.
Before turning out the light at bedtime one night, Josh said things wouldn't be the same without Bernie, Jim told him, "They're not supposed to be."
The words satisfied Josh and gave him peace.
At that time, Baldwin was a preschool teacher at Grace Lutheran Preschool in Lexington. When a student's family dog died, Baldwin searched for a book that addressed the topic but didn't find anything suitable.
It broke Baldwin's heart to see the boy's sadness as he asked to say a prayer for the dog at snack time and talked of the dog during other activities. Baldwin was convinced she needed to write a book.
Baldwin received mixed advice from professionals. Some told her the book would never sell because it didn't follow the formula of having a happier ending such as getting a new pet. Her husband was referred to as "tough-love dad." Jim's actual words to Josh are included in the book.
She was told the story was too long and something needed to be cut.
Baldwin said society moves on too quickly after a death, but a person mourning may not be ready to put it behind himself or herself and needs to feel the loss.
So, family members encouraged Baldwin to pursue the book anyway.
Niece Andrea Watkins, who helped during several stages of the book, said, "You thought outside the box, and that's OK."
Baldwin originally struggled to find a suitable illustrator until Watkins, herself a graphic artist, learned of graphic artist Betti Lee, originally from Lincoln but now living in Iowa.
"It was uncanny that she could draw things better than I could have thought of them," Baldwin said. Although Lee did beautiful work with the illustrations, adding color proved difficult.
Baldwin received permission from Lee to have Watkins do the coloring. Instead of using watercolors, acrylics, colored pencils or crayons, color was applied by computer in a process called "colorations." The look achieved was a watercolor wash as Baldwin had envisioned.
Baldwin's favorite illustration depicts Josh, a younger version of her son, lying on the floor with marbles. One is a cat's eye because, Baldwin said, when you lose someone, often there are reminders everywhere.
Baldwin said she had been told to self-publish to maintain control. Otherwise, the idea might be stolen or the story might be dramatically altered.
The first run of "Goodbye Bernie" was 500 copies. It is available at Hastings Entertainment in Kearney and at Kitabee Books and Barmore Drug in Lexington.
Since Bernie's passing, the family lost their Chihuahua, Spencer, at age 15 in August 2007. Spencer's death coincided with the receipt of the first copies of the book.
An 18-year-old dog named Max is still living with the Baldwins.
Baldwin said she still gets emotional when she reads the book.
"Pets, they work their way into your heart, and they're just like family," she said.
Her search for a way to help children mourn and to acknowledge that pain inspired a Lexington teacher to write a children's book.
"Goodbye Bernie" not only records her family's experience but also discusses mourning, acceptance, and letting go and honors Bernie's memory.
"I like books because they can say what we need to hear," Sheri Baldwin said.
Sixteen years ago when Baldwin's family lost their cat, Bernie, she couldn't find just the right book about death to share with children. Over the years, each time Baldwin encountered someone who mentioned the death of a pet, she felt motivated to work on the project and became determined to finish.
"That was my thorn," said Baldwin, 53.
Josh Baldwin was 10 when Bernie died. The gray cat had been with the family Josh's entire life. Watching her son cope prompted Baldwin to write a poem. It was like a story, but it lacked an ending, she said of the initial effort. Baldwin said she felt the need to write for her personal benefit.
It was a conversation between Baldwin's husband, Jim, and Josh that sparked the ending she was looking for, even though Jim thought he let his son down with the answer.
Before turning out the light at bedtime one night, Josh said things wouldn't be the same without Bernie, Jim told him, "They're not supposed to be."
The words satisfied Josh and gave him peace.
At that time, Baldwin was a preschool teacher at Grace Lutheran Preschool in Lexington. When a student's family dog died, Baldwin searched for a book that addressed the topic but didn't find anything suitable.
It broke Baldwin's heart to see the boy's sadness as he asked to say a prayer for the dog at snack time and talked of the dog during other activities. Baldwin was convinced she needed to write a book.
Baldwin received mixed advice from professionals. Some told her the book would never sell because it didn't follow the formula of having a happier ending such as getting a new pet. Her husband was referred to as "tough-love dad." Jim's actual words to Josh are included in the book.
She was told the story was too long and something needed to be cut.
Baldwin said society moves on too quickly after a death, but a person mourning may not be ready to put it behind himself or herself and needs to feel the loss.
So, family members encouraged Baldwin to pursue the book anyway.
Niece Andrea Watkins, who helped during several stages of the book, said, "You thought outside the box, and that's OK."
Baldwin originally struggled to find a suitable illustrator until Watkins, herself a graphic artist, learned of graphic artist Betti Lee, originally from Lincoln but now living in Iowa.
"It was uncanny that she could draw things better than I could have thought of them," Baldwin said. Although Lee did beautiful work with the illustrations, adding color proved difficult.
Baldwin received permission from Lee to have Watkins do the coloring. Instead of using watercolors, acrylics, colored pencils or crayons, color was applied by computer in a process called "colorations." The look achieved was a watercolor wash as Baldwin had envisioned.
Baldwin's favorite illustration depicts Josh, a younger version of her son, lying on the floor with marbles. One is a cat's eye because, Baldwin said, when you lose someone, often there are reminders everywhere.
Baldwin said she had been told to self-publish to maintain control. Otherwise, the idea might be stolen or the story might be dramatically altered.
The first run of "Goodbye Bernie" was 500 copies. It is available at Hastings Entertainment in Kearney and at Kitabee Books and Barmore Drug in Lexington.
Since Bernie's passing, the family lost their Chihuahua, Spencer, at age 15 in August 2007. Spencer's death coincided with the receipt of the first copies of the book.
An 18-year-old dog named Max is still living with the Baldwins.
Baldwin said she still gets emotional when she reads the book.
"Pets, they work their way into your heart, and they're just like family," she said.
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